it's hard it's so hard. having a friend get into a relationship that isn't supposed to be. the girl is terrible. and i am going to try to attempt to help him make some sense of this. she is stupid, uncultured, disgusting, cheap, boring, ugly, horribly person in general. I have to help him, him being my best friend.

I need to put this into words because screaming to the heavens will just awaken the sister and the neighbors. so i am back to xanga, because i know it's safe and no one reads mine anyway. so i can say whatever i want about anyone now, no one will contradict me, no one will agree or disagree, it's just me and my world now. only on here.

this makes me sort of happy because i dont feel like having a physical diary. too much effort and commitment. and this shit isnt at all. it's easy.

i am going to talk to him today when the two of us go shopping for new year's presents. i am going to talk to him and and i just hope it goes well.

i thought of saying some of the following lines. they wont make sense because it's jumbled thoughts that i willl try to put together:

now, before i say anything, i need you to understand two things, i am your friend, and you are my friend, and i dont mean to insult you or do you any sort of harm, second, i am not asking or telling or begging you to do anything, because i know it's your decision, and finally, this is only my opinion, you dont have to share it. We have been friends for several years now, and you are one of the closest if not the closest friends i have . and being friends for this time, i started understanding more about what kind of people you like and dont like, i have to ask you. are you happy? are you happy with her? i mean, if you told me that you are just with her for the sake of trying out what it is like having a gf because this is your first relationship, i would be ok with that entirely. go ahead and enjoy. but if you tell me, that you like her for who she is, then obviously i dont know you that well as a person, and all my opinions have been wrong about your tastes. vas, edna, yan, they all agree. they all agree that it is wrong, that this is the wrong girl for you. maybe, somewhere inside you, you agree with me, you probably dont on the outside, but you can probably feel it that it's just not someone you want and like. look at her, she is dumb and boring, not that i have made good decisions with some of my gfs but nothing like this. what happened to when you were giving me your opinion about girls? i agreed with you because we had the same view. what about now? do you actually like her? if you do, how can that be possible? she is the complete opposite of you, you are smart, you are a good person. she isnt any of that. you have to understand that your entire circle of friends think the same thing. even people from the outside who know her think the same thing. now, you can use her for sex, thats fine, do that to your heart's content. but having a strong relationship,. . i just dont want you to get hurt. thats all. dont get too attached to her. dont let her control you.

well thats about it. i mean, i will try to do my best. it' sgoing to be hard certainly but it's worth it. it definitely is worth it.

good bye for now. i have a headache so i am gonna sleep. shit. it's already 313 and i just walked the dog. i need the fucking energy for tomorrow. goodbye xanga.

mood : apathetic .. . hahaha yeah fucking right!!